As National Grief Awareness Day approaches on Aug. 30, trauma expert Judith A. Swack, Ph.D., is shedding light on why some people remain trapped in grief long after a loss. Swack, whose book ‘Clear Trauma Now: The Powerful Solution for Getting Unstuck’ was recently named the 2026 Silver Medal Winner for Grief Books by the Coalition of Visionary Resources (COVR), explains that unresolved trauma can keep individuals stuck, preventing them from accessing joyful memories of their loved ones.
According to Swack, during a traumatic loss, the body’s fight-flight-freeze response becomes conditioned to remember and react to anything associated with that moment. This causes people to repeatedly relive the shock of their loss, as every reminder triggers the pain of the death or departure, rather than the love and connection they shared.
‘Healing begins by calming this trauma response, so the nervous system no longer reacts as though the loss is happening in the present,’ Swack says. To help those struggling, she outlines five first steps toward healing.
The first step is to separate the trauma from the person you loved. Many grieving people fear that letting go of the trauma means losing their connection to the deceased. Swack asserts the opposite: trauma can become fused with the memory, causing pain instead of love. Healing the trauma allows positive memories and gratitude to return without relinquishing the relationship.
Second, identify the ‘hidden layers’ beneath grief. Grief is rarely just sadness. Swack’s research shows that loss trauma often includes shock, fear, anger, hurt, guilt, shame, and helplessness. Recognizing these emotions is vital for comprehensive healing.
Third, listen for limiting beliefs that loss may have created. Traumatic loss often leaves unconscious conclusions such as ‘It’s my fault,’ ‘People always leave me,’ or ‘I’m powerless.’ These beliefs can affect relationships, work, and self-esteem long after the loss, but awareness is a critical step toward recovery.
Fourth, pay attention to the feeling of emptiness. A hallmark of unresolved loss trauma is a deep sense of emptiness or a ‘hole’ in the chest or stomach. Swack notes that people often try to fill this void with work, food, relationships, or other compulsive behaviors. Understanding that this emptiness is part of the trauma response can guide individuals toward healthier coping mechanisms.
Finally, recognize that healing trauma is not about forgetting someone or ‘moving on.’ One of the biggest barriers to recovery is the fear that healing means leaving a loved one behind. However, resolving the trauma does not erase the relationship; instead, it allows individuals to stop reliving the worst moment of their lives and begin remembering the love, joy, and meaning that came before.
‘Healing trauma at all levels allows people to easily recall special memories of loving connection and appreciate the ways in which their lives were enriched by having known that person,’ Swack says.
Swack’s book details practices she pioneered as part of her Healing from the Body Level Up™ (HBLU™) methodology, a comprehensive system designed to clear trauma at the conscious, unconscious, body, and soul levels. To help others experience this healing, Swack will present a ‘Clear Trauma Now Live Healing’ webinar on Thursday evenings in September, starting Sept. 3 from 7 to 9 p.m. and continuing Sept. 10, 17, and 24 from 7 to 8:30 p.m. EDT. More information is available at hblu.org/live-healing-experience.
